It’s that time of year when the damp roads and pathways bubble with the beginnings of mulching leaves. That smell that means the end of Summer and the beginning of warm socks, knitted jumpers and catching the scent of wood smoke on the breeze.
It has also brought with it a lot of internal composting too. To be completely honest this has been going on since July (hence the radio silence) but at last the seasons have caught up. Listening to the hiraeth draw I spent a fantastic and nourishing week at the beautiful Mellowcroft in Powys in August and returned home to West Wales. Now, back in Bristol I am feeling quite in my element on park walks and in the corners of cafes reflecting and listening to ideas and creative bubbling.
The last few months have brought with it the beginnings of great transition. An exciting and nail biting step forward in my creative life; returning to part-time freelance Art Facilitator and opening up more time and space to focus on creative practice. I have had the great fortune to have the multidisciplinary artist (and lovely person) Melanie Thompson agree to mentor me in this step. The beginning of our journey together has been fantastically enlightening, supportive and inspiring…. and we are still in the starting blocks!
One of the things I have been grappling with over the last few months is the draw for validation about what I am doing. The reassurance that my work, my thoughts, my feelings on life and creating are good, right, justified and worth pursuing. A trust and confidence I have faced in those shadow moments where all you want is someone to come along and take you by the hand to guide you through… A trust and confidence that only you can truly give yourself, in the middle of those nighttime hours spent pondering your next move. A patience that feels contradictory. Grieving for an old life. Witnessing a new life spreading out in front of me.
This is where I find myself now. Slowing down and being with myself. Digesting change and listening. With pushing and demanding of results, productivity, big, constant, unrelenting action from myself I find myself two steps back. In staying as connected as possible to my body, maintaining my needs for sleep, good food, exercise, comfort and good connections life begins bubbling and fizzing in the compost.
Creativity from the mulching. Feeling my way, step by step.
Mellowcroft – August 2013. Meadow Planting.
Mellowcroft. August 2013.
Coppet Hall, Pembrokeshire. August 2013.