The Writings of Bill Viola

19 Mar

Currently exploring digital video making, and making a short video on the often fine line between loneliness and solitude. The call of solitude, of walking alone in the landscape, that deafens me when caught in domestic frustration, when every day chores have taken their toll.  The search for silence so I can listen.  Here are the words of Bill Viola on just that:

Landscape can exist as reflection on the inner walls of the mind, or as a projection of the inner state without. Flat open vast space lends itself to a clearer monitoring of the subjective inner world.  Contemporary urban spaces talk to you, incessantly – signs call out, to try and grab you, programmed general consensus signals determine where and when you walk, the intersecting spheres of psychic perceptive space of others in too close proximity creates confusion and imbalance.  The “stillness” of the sleeping apartment building of 150 families is not “stillness” at all. Removing all cues, from the outside, the voices of the inner state become louder, clearer.

Note, 1979.

“Reasons for Knocking at an Empty House.”

Hiraeth

26 Jan

hiraeth2

An unattainable longing, a wistful yearning, for Wales.  A nostalgia tinged ache for a Wales of the past. For a moment in history, a place, a home, a person that might have never actually existed.

Lost & Found

5 Jan

I am very proud to present ‘Lost & Found’ the film collaboration debut from Jo Keeling  and myself.

As part of the brilliant Ffotogallery‘s  ‘Introduction to Digital Video’ course that Jo embarked upon in September, a short film was to be made. I was very excited when she came to me with the idea of making the focus our love for collecting.

To spend some time reflecting on how collecting has been a part of my  life was enlightening and energising and this made the basis for the script. Jo’s vibrant storyboard and directing brought this to life and it was such a blast to shoot!

I have been so inspired by Jo and our collaboration that I am due to start the course myself in a couple of weeks… I may stay behind the camera from now on!

A great creative start to 2014!

Lost & Found from Jo Keeling on Vimeo.

Apologies for the lack of embedding. Some Vimeo issue. Just click on link.

“Far From The Sodding Crowd”

29 Nov

I have just come across this beautiful, funny and strange short film on the BBC Film Network website. Created to celebrate the array of days out to be had in Britain, that doesn’t involve a theme park or shopping, but more the adventures of jumping into someone’s unique collection, family run museum and/or beautiful obsession.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/filmnetwork/films/p007knnh

May we all look out for those small brown signs, keep our curiosity alive and learn wonderful things.

Not So Smart Phone

29 Nov

rain lashing on

wind whipped black

umbrella, barely

sheltering

us huddled

together

eyes fixed on

stark glow

in hand

gently, then more

aggressively, finger

punching at

tiny piece of

screen to

transport

us where

we need to be.

train times

halted

network

issue.

primate cooing

at fire

in wintery

glow, distracts

from fact

we could have

walked

there

by now

 

Being Seen #2: High Sensitivity.

28 Nov

Severn Lichen

It has been a long time since I have written here about the vulnerability of being seen.  This is no surprise.  It is a fearful state for me, to be vulnerable and not know what will happen next.  In leaping into life as an artist, in creating time and conditions to explore the work that interests me, the issues that impassion me, I have opened up a great deal of uncomfortable emotion.  With a vow to not numb anymore, to be with my experience of life, I am tapping into deep pools of grief and pain that call me to action.  But this action will not let me avoid what needs to be sat with and fully experienced first.

I am, and have always been, a highly sensitive person.  I absorb the feelings and atmosphere around me.  I find busy environments draining after a short time. Sound, smell, the textures around me, the emotions of others, visual stimulation, I process it all deeply and reach my limits a lot sooner than many other people.  Around 15-20% of the population are highly sensitive, something I have learned from the work of Elaine Aron and other HSP focused practitioners whom I have been exploring over the last 18 months. Yet, I still struggle with accepting that this is part of me.  I try to out run it, test it, push it and I always, always end up on the floor.  When I listen to it, love it, nourish it I am happy, inspired, focused and creative. A great side of this trait, and it’s deep processing, is I see the nuances in this world in such a way I need very little stimulation to make me curious and keep me entertained.  Time alone, and with those close connections in my life, spent in nature, or exploring life in some way…  This is true happiness.  It is in overstimulation, when I want to rinse out my skin and my mind is whirring and pumping with annoyance, bile and suggestions for how to ‘stop being like this’ that I struggle to move.

To be the change that I want to see in this world means first allowing myself to be sensitive, emotional, fallible and whole.  To grow in strength and to take action to support others in this, through my teaching and creating, I first see myself in my wholeness.  To accept my sensitivity, to look after it, to take care of it.  To not busy myself with answers that sound about right or distractions that feel nice for a time, but leave me yet again alone staring into my unchartered inner waters.

In this process some big decisions are being made.  About my lifestyle, my career, my creative practice, my aspirations and my connections. I notice that I have been pushing for resolution in all of these areas over the last few months, but in writing this and looking at how far I have come and the desire to keep my foot to the floor and the revs up, I ease off a bit.

I am writing this here to give it space, a voice, to be noted.  To include it in the documentation of my creative growth and  practice without shame.  This is what fuels me in many different, but linked, guises.  A reminder to self that to enjoy the gifts of this trait I must also welcome and give love to the challenges it brings.  For it comes as a whole.  A whole heart.

—————-

High Sensitivity – Super information, resources and people:

Elaine Aron – The Highly Sensitive Person

Caroline Van Kimmenade – The Happy Sensitive

Ane Axford – Sensitive + Thriving

Highly Sensitive and Creative

Walk #2 + Walk #3

24 Nov

Walk #2

Walk 2.1

Walk 2.2

Walk 2.3

Walk 2.4

Night walk.

Hidden documenting.

Focus on present detail.

What do I notice?

Where are my eyes and ears drawn towards in the night?

——————————————————————————————–

Walk #3

Walk 3.1 Walk 3.2

Walk 3.4 Walk 3.3

Walk 3.5

Morning walk.

Focus on smell.

Playing with writing.

Writing as public performance.

Held between the lines.

Playing within parameters.

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